WTF?! AI is still a long way from the human-like, thinking machines from sci-fi. Apple's recently released Apple Intelligence, for example, is prone to acting very unintelligent, especially when it comes to its notification summaries. But at least they're often unintentionally hilarious.

Apple finally introduced its suite of AI features with the release of iOS/iPadOS 18.1 and macOS 15.1 last month. It offers the usual capabilities, such as assisted writing tools, image generation, photo enhancements, and more.

Another Apple Intelligence feature is its ability to summarize notifications. Cupertino says the summaries allow users to scan long or stacked notifications with key details right on the Lock Screen, such as when a group chat is particularly active.

As with so many things, AI often struggles with these summaries as it usually fails to understand context and human expressions. It's a particularly harsh experience for anyone being dumped, as the summary below illustrates.

This isn't the first time that Apple Intelligence has delivered news of a breakup in a less than sensitive way. Last month, a New York-based developer received the summary notification: "No longer in a relationship; wants belongings from the apartment."

Summaries about dating in general also seem a little off, though one could imagine those below being read in a robotic voice by a Data-like android prototype.

Apple Intelligence also seems unable to understand when someone is using the term "killed" when not referring to literally killing someone. CNET notes how a summary from someone stating that their personal trainer "killed" them appeared in a quite startling fashion: "Trainer allegedly killed, need to go to the hospital."

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There was also this gem from someone who said the hike they were on almost killed them.

Here are a couple of more bizarre summaries.

Maybe it was constipated?

Two unrelated bits of information or a notification that the zombie apocalypse has begun?

Another apparent warning that we will all soon be dead, much to the disappointment of South Baltimore's Amtrak customers.

Tim Cook said Apple Intelligence notification summaries "changed" his life. The Apple boss will always exaggerate the effectiveness of one of his company's products, but unless he was talking about them making him laugh more, that's quite the stretch, even for a CEO.

Masthead: Thom Holmes